Perfect days with kids in Amsterdam

In this blog you can read Tricks and Tips to make Perfect Days with your kids in Amsterdam. 

I tested these ideas on an adventurous family, who were keen on making the most of their stay in Amsterdam with their 3-year old son and 8-year old daughter. The results were amazing! At the end of their stay they even asked if I could please stay with them for the remainder of their European trip. 

I realized I struck gold, and decided to help more families make the most of their holiday in Amsterdam, using my very own ground rules. Let’s call them tricks:

When there is more than one child in a household, the goal to find something that is alluring and development-appropriate for a family, becomes exponentially more challenging. The dynamics between siblings is another factor to take into consideration. Do they like to play together often, or do they follow their own paths? Having extra grown-ups around really helps in these situations, and that is also what I can offer as your family guide. 

As the father, mother and their 8-year old daughter listened to the miller explaining the ingenious system of his 17th century windmill, I kept an eye on their 3-year old son, who was deeply fascinated by the seashells he found on the path next to that mill. At some point his older sister joint our hunt for the nicest shells, while the parents were entranced by all the interesting details the knowledgeable miller shared with them 

Trick nr. 2: Arrival day is A Chill-Out day

Do not underestimate the jet lag

Over the years I have guided many jet lagged clients who bravely fought against heavy eyelids and fits of yawning. For children the combination of a long journey, timezone jumping and disturbed day rhythm weighs even heavier. They simply fall asleep, or get easily agitated. Sometimes their parents would excuse their kids’ unruly behavior, but I always felt that the children were absolutely right in their need for some rest, or at least some time to settle into their new environment.

When this specific family of four, with a 3 year old son and an 8 year old daughter arrived in Amsterdam on a Sunday morning, after a transatlantic flight, they just wanted to chill. They had booked  their hotel room at the hotel Hyatt Regency. The Hyatt Regency is located on the east side of Amsterdam, in a beautiful 19th century residential area, very close to the beloved 17th century neighborhood De Plantage. This is where the Zoo is located (8 minute walk, Artis). On any given Sunday, this Zoo is where Amsterdam families gather to let their children play, explore, learn and discover. So when in Rome…

Other nearby family friendly options were: 

• Science Museum (20 minute walk, Nemo is a high energy interactive museum about science, great if the kids need to burn some jetlag jibby’s)

• Resistance Museum (9 minute walk, Verzetsmuseum, about World War II in the Netherlands, with a award winning children exposition)
• Botanical Garden (11 minute walk Hortus Botanicus, a 17th century botanical garden, with a butterfly greenhouse, very relaxed environment)

So even though I was not engaged in any tour guiding this first day, I did help the family to find their feet, at their own pace, trusting that my tips would help them to make the choices that were right for their kids on that first, wobbly day of arrival. 

Trick nr. 3: Let the kids play

Kids should not have a to-do list in their heads

The ability of children to play is something to marvel at and be inspired by. To play is to follow one’s own curiosity without pressing for a certain outcome. Most grown-ups lose this ability, exchanging it for efficiency and goal oriented time management. Therefore, most of my grown-up clients come to me with a to-do list in their heads. They want to see:

• The Anne Frank House
• The Rijksmuseum
• The Van Gogh Museum
• The Canal Ring
• Zaanse Schans

Surely I can be of assistance, I know my way to and through all of the above sites. But this is not how a child would approach a visit to Amsterdam. Alternatively, they would respond well to this wishlist:

• Having fun with their parents (who are relaxed and cheerful)
• Eating the food they like best (with a small variation to the known tune)
• Learning/Seeing something that they have heard of before at school (expanding their knowledge)
• Playing outdoors (in playground, with water, with sand)
• Having a break, relaxing in a quiet room

What some of my clients don’t know is that Amsterdam is filled with well maintained and pretty clean playgrounds. Sometimes you’ll find a little coffee bar right next to it, or a knee-deep pool for summer time water-fun.. 

Trick nr. 4: Let the kids take the lead

Autonomy is the short-cut to happiness. 

I always feel a little sorry for children who are forced to appreciate art. I clearly remember visiting The Last Supper by Da Vinci in Italy when I was 9 years old: all I saw was a boring old wall, and all I wanted was a gelato.

Of course, in hindsight I do deeply appreciate my art historical upbringing: I did grow a love for art, history and culture. But I believe I could have enjoyed myself better as a kid, if I had felt some form of empowerment while looking at art.

So I knew I wanted to give the children of this particular family some sort of agency, while we ventured on the most challenging part of the itinerary: the museum visits. Both the Van Gogh Museum AND the Rijksmuseum were on the wishlist of the parents. Both large and crowded museums, and of course some parts of the story about Vincent van Gogh are not really suitable for children.

A small adjustment in the Van Gogh tour made a big difference. In each of the galleries I let the children decide which painting THEY wanted to see. Next move was to let each of the children pick out two colors (I brought colors and drawing paper) that they felt they would need in order to draw that particular painting. Subconsciously they stood in the shoes of Vincent himself, who -as a self proclaimed colorist- sought colors to express himself. While the kids looked at the painting attentively while drawing it, I shared my ‘grows-up’ stories with the parents. Of course the 8-year old daughter eavesdropped on us, but that was exactly what I hoped she would do. It was her choice to listen. 

In the Rijksmuseum, our huge national museum from 1885, I made a big adjustment to what I usually do. All in order to let the children feel their autonomy and therefore teach them to love museum visits. I turned the Rijksmuseum visit into a treasure hunting game. Two parent-kid-teams each had to choose four objects (for instance: ‘something big’), one on each floor of the museum. They reported to me, the referee in the ‘neutral zone’. After they had found and reported their four objects of choice, I concluded the tour with MY four objects, all four in the Honor Gallery. The treasure hunt prepared the kids for this, they were genuinely curious to see my four objects and the parents got their wish list boxes checked (link: Vermeer, Rembrandt)

The magic of that game is that the kids work together with their parents in a relaxed way, which creates a feeling of happiness that is now connected to visiting museums. And the family has learned a game they can repeat in any other huge museum the might visit in the future (the National Gallery, the Louvre in Paris)

So I thoroughly prepared the logistics of my tourdays with my adventurous family, in close and constant contact with the parents. This is also why I choose to guide ‘only’ one client at the time. Especially with families, you want to be able to make last minute changes (as far as possible).

On all the tourdays I brought a big bag with materials ‘just in case’ (baby wipes, sunscreen, water bottles, a football, a skipping rope and crayons to draw on the sidewalks). This was a clear signal to the children that their basic needs would not be sacrificed to something abstract as ‘knowing the history of Amsterdam’.

The youngest child had a diet restriction that excluded a lot of the usual sweet options that kids might favor (stroopwafels, poffertjes, dutch pancakes, icecream). So every day I showed up with a tupperware filled with home-made vegan pancakes (a delicious treat that I often make for my own kids) The fact that he could rely on me bringing the pancakes every day, was a small but important trust-building element that allowed the family to relax into their family-holiday.

Trick nr. 6: Be Silly 

Let your guards down

This is not a tip for parents, but more for guides, especially the very professional high-end ones. 

I have been working as a high-end private guide for years now and with this profession comes a certain standard. For this reason, I am very critical to the quality of the venues and activities that I include in my tours. When my clients want to tour outside of Amsterdam, I work with the finest Chauffeured Van Service in the business. And of course, I dress up for the occasion, I have a love for fashion and I know my clients expect me to be impeccably dressed and well behaved.

But as a mother, and before that as a nanny, and before that as the oldest child in my family circle, I was deploying a completely different set of characteristics. I know from those experiences that,  as long as I respect the needs of children ( taking their boundaries, wishes and need for autonomy seriously, creating a safe environment, always including the parents), they just love it if I’m completely silly. Goofing around, bending the rules, creating little adventures, cracking jokes. And guess what? That is what I love to do!

Then came the museum visits, which were just one big play party. And cycling through Amsterdam in a clog-shaped cargobike, while the kids happily munched their illegal home-made pancakes. A tour that ended with all of us hanging around the best climbing tree in Amsterdam, eating a Suriname deli take-out from carton boxes.

But the final day, when we visited the windmill where the kids collected shells, that really blew the ‘silly’ gates right open. 

It started with the bold decision to let my clients hire their own car. I never do that: so unprofessional! So instead of having a professional chauffeur in a luxurious van, I was sitting next to the father-driver, navigating him to the windmill. Both kids safely tucked in their safety seats with their mum crammed in between them. It is not the most relaxed way of transportation, true, but I could see that the adventure of driving themselves was bringing thrills and laughter to the whole family. And why wouldn’t it? The infrastructure in The Netherlands is absolutely top notch,  it is not like you’re going off-road in the Sahara.

Since the weather was so nice, I spontaneously suggested at lunch we go to the nearby beach instead of the petting zoo as was planned. The beach brought out the best in the kids: they almost exploded with enthusiasm. Playing with the soft sand, getting their clothes wet and dirty while jumping the waves. Everybody glowed with joy. It was the perfect finale to the days we had spent together. So we played for a while and when we walked back to the car, I found myself bare foot, hand in hand with the oldest child and the mom, singing and hopping. Being completely silly.

Now, every family is different, and every tour will be different. But I will never forget the lessons that guiding this adventurous family taught me. That I can trust the ground rules that I use as a family friendly guide. That my ‘tricks’ are as sound as they are silly and that they can bring out the best in a family. 

This blog could not have been written or published without the full consent and cooperation of this amazing family. They wish to remain anonymous, but they know exactly who I am talking about! I am eternally thankful for letting me guide them in such an adventurous way, It emboldened my trust in my abilities as a real family friendly guide and I hope that I can guide many more families in a way that makes their stay in Amsterdam unforgettable

* Whenever I refer to parents, I mean the main caretakers of a child.